Dear Traveller...
Remember me? I was standing behind you in the security line up at the airport today.
On behalf of the other people in our line up--and in particular the guy behind me who was hissing vulgarities at you (I don't think you noticed)-- I wanted to pass on a few of the more common security-clearing techiques.
These are nothing more than some simple tips that will make your next time in the airport security line faster and friendlier.
First, you should finish up your Big Mac and super-sized Dr. Pepper before entering the line. You'll have to throw away the drink, anyway. And the sandwich makes it awkward to handle your boarding pass, which you really ought to keep handy because they ask for it at least three times. In major airports like this one you'll find many stores and restaurants once you're past security.
Next issue: please take the eight dollars in change out of your pants before getting to the x-ray machines. Put it in your coat pocket. Anything you have that is metal (like your watch) or might be metal (here I'm thinking of your Skid Row t-shirt)... just put it all in your coat pocket. Then you can slide your coat through the x-ray machine in one easy step.
Also, I don't know why you have a full tube of toothpaste and bottle of shampoo in your carry-on. But if you need 30 days worth of personal hygiene products where you're going... maybe you could leave them in your checked baggage. They're pretty serious about allowing only small containers of liquids in a sealed ziploc bag. You might've noticed the three signs and the table with free baggies at the start of the line.
And yes, you have to take off your army boots. Next time it'd be great if you unlaced them before getting to the x-ray machine.
Thanks for your attention to these matters. Not only will they help your fellow travellers, but I think you'll enjoy practicing and mastering them.
Happy travels,
From all of us at security line 1, Terminal 7, JFK International Airport, 6:00 to 6:30 a.m. on Saturday, Feb 24, 2007.

